Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize