Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
bring money and cleavage
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
