I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
two words...techno handjob
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
