he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize