would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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