She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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