apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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