remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize