i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
