My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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