YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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