bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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