Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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