dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
