Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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