I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
