My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
