Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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