so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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