i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
