whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize