I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
