Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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