When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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