just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
