i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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