Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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