Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
