FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
