Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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