I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
