You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
