I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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