Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
