Having a random hookup so left but love u
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
