using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
