quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
