Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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