real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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