so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
