You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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