What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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