Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she told me i tasted like america
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
