i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
