Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
