i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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