Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
