My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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