Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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