i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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