Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
