They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
