It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my shit smells like andre
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
How external is "for external use only"?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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