She just used a chaser for red wine.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
