She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
