I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
