he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Small penises have feelings too.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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