I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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