do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
