my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
