It's Friday. Sex?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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